Perfectionism, asset or obstecle? There are probibly as many varying oppinons on the answer to this qestion, as there are varying individuals in this word? What do you think? How, if at all, does being perfectionist play out in your life? For some people, I have worked with they view pefectionism as an asset. They feel that the only way they stay motivated to do there best is to aim for perfection. If you agree that this works for you, don’t change it.
For many people, including myself, striving for perfectism has been a gigantic obstecle. Perfectionism can, and often does prevent people from reaching their goals/dreams. Often times, people don’t even start taking steps toward their goal, for fear of not being good enough. People often feel they will not have what it takes to succeed, so what is the benefit of trying. For those people who take the leap, and take steps to achieve their dreams, they often stop before they get there. The reason for this often is that, they start to feel as though the proccess is not progressing they way they invisioned, and/or they begin to feel that they are not good enough. They begin to feel as though, they were crazy for even trying to achieve their goal. Many people tell themselves things like, I should have known better than to attempt this, I knew I don’t have what it takes.
Recently, when talking with a colleague, she stated she is a “recovering perfectionist.” When she said that, it struck a nerve within me. For years, like many others I am sure, I felt they only way to truly have value was to be perfect. I felt the only way others would accept me is if I was perfect in all I did. At the very least, I felt I had to fit into the definiton of pefect, as written by those important in my life. I too consider myself a continuous “recovering perfectionist.” Over the years, I have improved on my ability to be imperfect. It has been liberating. I began to recognize that my fear of imperfection and failure was holding me back from achieving my goals/dreams. My self-limiting belief of if I am not perfect, I will not succeed was my biggest obstecle. I had become my own worst critic.
By asking myself a series of related questions, I began to take a chance on my, dream goal of becoming a Certified Life Coach. The questions I asked were: What is the worst that happens if I don’t succeed? My answer, “If I reach for the moon, and fall amoung the stars,” so what? The realization that, evcn if things don’t work out as planned (the stars), something will come from my efforts (the moon). If I let the idea, that accomplishment and success only come with perfection, consider what will happen. Like most of us, I will become paralyzed by fear. What will myself or anyone who becomes paralyzed by fear achieve? You guessed it, Nothing!
How did I begin to work around this? You ask. I asked myself and additional question. What will happen if and when I succeed? I began to focus on what my world would look like when I became a Certified Life Coach. If you can SEE IT, you CAN BE IT! I began to invison myself turining my lifes’ VISION into REALITY! If I saw myself succeed then, I would. You get out of something what you put into it.
I was freak’n scared, but I went for it. I enrolled in a Coaching Program and Here I AM! With each step I took, with each assignment I completed, I let go a bit at a time, of my need to do it perfectly. The result, I saw myself succeeding, without being PERFECT. It was amazing.
A good example of my letting go of perfectionism, my blogs. Confused? I will explain. As some of you may know from reading, Meet your Coach, on this site, I was born with Cerebral Palsy (CP). My fine motor skills, my grammatical ability, the amount of typos you may see in a blog and my ability to catch my own errors when I prove read, are all secondary effects of my CP. When I proof read, I read it as though it says/is typed saying what I meant it too. It is because, I know what I wanted to say, so my brain reads it as though it says what I meant. It is not because I don’t care, or I am lazy. My proof reader has been anavailable, I am hopeful she will be returning soon. I am in the process of looking for a “back-up,” but I did not want the blog to wait. I wanted to continue serving you. So, I continue to blog, and do the best I can with proofing, before publishing. My hope is that people will focus on the content (what) is being said and not the manner (how) it is being said, or in this case spelled/organized grammatically. I hope my professionalism will be assessed by who I am, and what I say, not so much the how, in this case.
For those of you, who are sticklers, for grammer, do not stress, I understand, and will have a proof reader again real soon. Until that time, I encourage you to keep reading, commenting, and growing personally, along with me.
Remember for some perfectionism is an asset. If it works for you, don’t fix it. I challenge you all, to really take a hard look about how well a perfectionist approach to things is serving you? In what way is it assisting you in reaching your goals? If it is truly serving you productively keep on truck’n. If you discover it is not, consider making one smaill change at time, to your appropch to things. Make these changes until you find what works.
We are all part of the human species. This means we inherantly have faults and imperfections. No one on earth is perfect. What happens when you strive for something, inherantly you are not? What happens, for me, and most is that we set are self up not to succeed. As stated earlier, we become paralyzed by fear.
There is a fine line, between doing our absolute best and perfectionism. We must be cafeful not to cross it. It is when that line is crossed, that “prefectionism” will stop being an asset and become a deficit/obstecle. Crossing that line, can and does often become emotionally dangerous, in the form of a self -limiting mindset.
Join me today in the quest to be a ” recovering perfectionist.” If you know someone who is a perfectionist help them begin their jouney to the “freedom of an imperfect” life. When we accept ourselves fully, faults and all, the Possibilities R Infinite, as to what we will achieve.
If you like this article, and/or would like help on your jounery to become a “recovering perefectionist”, both are simple to obtain. Sign up for more articles, and contact me for a complementary session on this very websitehttp://www.possiblitiesrinfinite.com
I look forward to hearing from you soon. You can acheive, whatever you want to achieve, I BELIEVE!